Truth Seeking It can be painful When you find skeletons In your Heroes’ closets When dirt is somehow Always found When the truth is bitter. When am gone From here I hope that i will know That i had The right set of heroes In my book of Admirable Men. I want to know that I fought for A worthy Cause And that I was on the Love team, On the Just team, On the Winning Team. And when the new jungle Is unleashed I will be under the Eagle’s Wings Part of the Lamb’s flock And walk with The Mighty Lion.
I have found My long lost desire My knight in Shining armor My rescuer My precious My bright light My Shining Sun My Everything. But all Isn’t well yet. He’s perfect But am not The castle is ready But i didn’t know That i preferred the dump better I sneak out late To hung with His enemies My tormentors They hold out glitter How do I resist Sometimes all i want Is to hide from the light Am rather more accustomed To Darkness and Gloom To the impurity How do i let the pain go It wasn’t sweet but it was mine. Am not fitted for Him Atleast Not Yet But I will wait For his promises to Be Fulfilled He’s perfect, Ofcourse he has it all Quite figured out.
The weekend has been awful. On Friday my friend lost the election, we gave it our all but don’t know what went wrong. Okay i didn’t participate much in campaigns but only because my pride kept me feeling unable to shout in public , and i don’t wish to dance to secular music. But ofcourse i helped out. But seriously am not his only friend , if i were he would certainly lose. So many of my friends are his friends too and they put in so much and worked so hard. We lost and are now trying to recover.
Well Saturday came by , my friends talked of being unnecessary depressed and not knowing why but i know why i was depressed. I have been friends with Elsea for like five years now. I think we are rather best friends, i complain to her when home is frustrating, tell her about my past , my parents , my thoughts , the books i read. I sit with her in class , go shopping with her , she’s lent me some money lots of times , i have even spent two nights at her home with her mum and gotten to know most of her family members. Then i figured i need to end my friendship with her because she’s bad company, she isn’t a Christian. I hate evangelism because it drains me so much emotionally and alot of times i feel like i can relate more with unchristians than with the Gospel Truth that’s to be shared. I know letting people enjoy their way to hell isn’t very loving but since I’ve been there i don’t know how to convince myself that i would have needed an evangelist too back then when i didn’t know Christ , afterall back then I never let a Christian beat me at an argument even though it meant proving them liars. Anyway my point is , talking to Elsea feels like evangelism lots of times , it’s exhausting and i would rather tell stories and talk about movies than mention God which is what I’ve been doing for a long time. I love hanging out with her but am done debating on whether it’s a God approved friendship. I mean we had come to understand each other and respect each other’s boundaries, we respect whatever the other believes , she doesn’t say my faith in Christ is lunacy and i don’t say her claim that it’s okay to date someone of the same gender is pure madness. But seriously why is it so hard to bond with Christians? Anyway that’s not the point for now.
Now i have to end our friendship and I told her so on Saturday morning. I don’t know how am going to do it but I’ve been putting it off for far too long. I know it’s too hard , we sit in the same class almost everyday and am not attempting to create an enmity. Ofcourse i don’t know where am to find Christian friends but for now my novels will have to keep me company. Who knew trying to put an end to a friendship would be so hurting!
Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night. – Psalms 1:1-2.
Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” – 1 Corinthians 15:33
This is in honour of my former creative days , I have come to the very final Conclusion and realisation that Art is not one of my talents. But here are some of the things i tried out when i had just gotten a phone and had alot of time
There's a bit of hierarchy In chief Ends God made plants With the chief end Of bearing fruit To feed men and animals If they fail in that They are destroyed. Man's Chief end Is to Glorify God And enjoy him forever. Just incase you wonder Why you wish to glorify Yourself and not God , The answer is simply Sin. The Chief End of God Is to glorify God And enjoy Himself Forever.
Dedn ; Things as They Are : Mission Work in Southern India (1905) by Army Wilson Carmichael.
You know it's just the usual, One minute am saying I love God With all my heart And the next am saying I really hate people, They sure are annoying. The next am saying I ought to be rational And then irrationally adding That I hate my friends , I smile at them but cannot vote for them , now isn't that hypocritical of me. Well now there's the sober minute , Am there now and just thinking What will people think of me ? The audacity to claim i love God but hate Church ? They sure might think me a devil in disguise. Or they will say I got no fear of the Lord saying all those selfish things. They might say am foolish , You know the whole throwing Wisdom out of the window thing when i open my mouth. I mean i just told someone I hate him because of his tribe, A typical African , not a racist but a tribalist. Now am confusing my friends. I mean who am I , If a Christ Lover I should love wholeheartedly And if just a self centered wretch , Stop the confusion and don't talk much of Christ anymore. Ohh but who said we live for people, For their pleasure, honour ! Who said we live for us and are tasked with protecting our honour , glory or names ! Christians live for Christ , For Christ's Honour And at the center of the Christian message Is the fact that we all fall short of the Glory of God, God is making all things new But who said sin was dead in us , We can testify to the proud Because our former tendency to pride is a demon we are still fighting, All will be made perfect when Christ returns but for now We keep fighting. We give not up our attempt to learn the way God's way to life. I never said i was righteous I said I have the Righteousness of Christ And when the Flesh wages war Against the spirit In that battle's midst We will know That victory belongs to God.
It’s the election period at my University. Am in third year at Uganda Christian University, Mukono Campus. This basically means most of the leaders are coming from my class but also that i have to choose between two friends and i don’t know what to do. Also it’s my birthday but i have made sure to tell no one about it. Today is nomination day. Well let me wait and see what happens.
I just watched a new movie released on Netflix. The School of Good and Evil. (SGE) The movie properly depicted the state of man , the not so clear line between good and bad people. All people have a good and a bad side. In an even greater reality though, God will draw a line , between the hearts he has changed and those still in their natural state of wickedness inherited at birth. Ofcourse i hated the movie, people don’t just magically become good whenever they wish and friends don’t kiss on the lips because that’s just wrong moreso in this sodomite era where a large number think the homosexuals ought to have rights. Ooh the one thing i hate the most though is an attempt at spoiling fairytales , i thought this was to be about magic and kids , not making a point that any evil witch can simply become good to save their own face again. Anyway to be fair , people have recently been obsessing over the old fairytales of stepsisters in hot iron shoes , bestiality in Beauty and the beast , stupidity and fornication in rapunzel , and ofcourse rape in Sleeping beauty.
Anyway, what’s on my mind is actually a conversation i had in the dining hall at University, all my friends seem to think people are born good but along the way they pick up bad habits and become evil , no one believes the Bible says men are born with wicked hearts , they sin not because they have picked up bad habits but because all men who proceed from Adam are sinners even in the womb. Now my reality looks just like the school of good and evil where agreements with evil are made, good learns to put on a pretty face and a beautiful smile but no one seems to remember that we are in the midst of battle. Life is a harsh training school where we are to be taught to fight for what really matters. Sadly everyone seems to think overcoming poverty, building a large house and being able to buy our future kids whatever they want is the great pearl. What happened to Christ being the Pearl ?
Ohh am not here to say am on the right track , heaven knows i have failed so much. I just have a question, what are preachers doing?
The things that matter If they were gold You could be born wealthy Or work alittle And very smart And you will own it all Isn’t it funny though That manual laborers Don’t get paid much You’ve got to be genius Talent might get you there. But Gold is worthless Sadly the things that matter Are Godliness Humility Grace And even more importantly God Almighty. Now these entail war All are born sinners You hate your own peace Everything is up against truth Every day you have to fight There’s just no time for soft life Mourning is the wise thing Watch for the seasons Delight in His blessings But remember Those who ain’t watching Are devoured Things that matter can Be summarized in one word, JESUS.