CHOSEN.

God chooses and God disposes, I think I have seen that somewhere. Why did God choose Jacob and not Esau? I mean come-on,Jacob was the thief,the taker,all he ever did was steal everything that rightfully belonged to Esau. Why did God choose Sarah’s Son and not Hagar’s ,they were both Abraham’s sons afterall ? Why Israel and not Egypt, I mean Egypt was well established, God would never have had to destroy many Nations to settle them in ?

Why Job and not one of Job’s sons? Why David and not Eliab ,his eldest brother or even Jonathan ,Saul’s good Son?

Why does Ninevah get a warning but not Sodom and Gomorrah? Actually,let’s leave that one, Sodom and Gomorrah would never have listened , you would be a dead Jonah in those towns.

Just when it starts looking like God chooses the weak and vulnerable or the failures and he makes them worthy, He chooses Jehu, pretty strong and pretty ruthless too? Why Jehu? Why did the Rule of much blood and death end with bloodshed, I mean you kill by the sword,you die by the sword anyway ! I guess God is no follower of Mahatma Ghandi’s .

I mean why Daniel ,he most certainly doesn’t look weak and vulnerable? Why Solomon, why give wisdom to someone who ends up so misusing it? Why Samson who had no real Value of God’s Gift or grace ? Why Esther ?

Try to find out why is utmost, pathetic. God chooses as He pleases, we wait on God and He waits not on us. But if you think you will be chosen because you are smart, think again.

PRINCESSES

Was just watching the Descendants. You get your happily ever after when you find your prince charming, in reality life is about alot more than that. There’s one odd thing about fairy tales, they aren’t about kindness, hard work , being good ,self sacrifice, love.etc. They are about falling in love with the most perfect guy, he’s most handsome, most adored etc. They are about finally living in a huge castle, it’s the grandest of all, they are about ending up with 500 pairs of shoes, maids, power,royalty,500 gowns, the admiration of everyone and having everyone bow before you. They are about all we dream of, really,all we think could satisfy yet it cannot. They are about fame,glory, great success,etc. You think I’m kidding, what does being prince 🤴 or princess 👸 stand for? But as lovers of those great characters in animations, we shall watch movie makers try to make more of them. I don’t know why we make spot of the chief’s daughter, the Princess, the Warrior, the great Arrows lady when real life is about ordinary people. I appreciate those animations that appreciate real life.

SING.


We aren’t asking that
You see more than Yourself,
We ain’t asking that you see
Our pain too .
We ain’t asking
That your heart goes out to us.
Many times, all we are asking for is that you never let your dream die.
That you never give up.
That you hold on for us all,
Because our lives are intertwined and together, We live.

God’s place.

God has taught me alot about the value of friends over the years and I’m so grateful for them. It always feels good to have someone to talk to and I talk alot. Recently I joined a Whatsapp group of my old primary friends, actually it was more like I rejoined after I had left. And yesterday when someone asked how people who obsess alot over God do it,I sayed they did it the same way lovers of football do it. But soon it turned into a theological debate or argument and some people were pretty mad, one guy in particular asked that we don’t talk about God and when I asked when that became a rule, he said it may not be but I over do it, I cross the line. Apparently I was trying not to say so much that some people would get confused but guess what, I was still over doing it,that was shocking.

Anyway, I wasn’t as mad about my friends, I was mad at God, I told him he was getting too involved in my life and ruining my friendships. I told God I needed to have a place of my own with them, have my own glory, and I felt like when I talked of God’s holiness and greatness, I was doing God a favour,and when I spoke of his providence, I was being a fool.

And God set things straight this morning. I listened to a gospel song that said We speak because of your Grace to us. So, even the simple gift of speech in our lives is undeserved. And I knew the place of my group members and friends. God is my sustainer, my redeemer,my provider ,my keeper, not any one of them. Having them as friends only mattered as long as God took his place. It’s grace that lets me speak and I had committed the sin or error of thinking my praise of God is a favour to Him, how pathetic. Glory not in worldly things because that glory is so short and so worthless, only in the Glory of God do we live and breathe. Even breath is a mercy from God,how had I forgotten that in a short while. God can interfere in our conversations as he pleases because everything that is should give glory to God or cease to be. And a time is coming when that Heavenly Command will be passed. Lets be friendly and tell the world about it.

Gold or the temple.

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You blind fools! Which is greater: the gold, or the temple that makes the gold sacred? St. Matthew 23:17

That verse is amazing. Because it was never about the temple. But always about the gold. People usually don’t bow down to clay idols, the temple was more honored because it contained the country’s treasures. So the gold made the temple sacred.

I guess we need to learn once again that it’s the temple that makes the gold sacred and keep God first while we set out on ventures of building our places of worship because we don’t ever want it said that we chose to worship in a Church because the building looked amazing.

And since we are temples of God, I guess we ought to know that it’s the Holy Spirit we ought to worship and not the gold we accumulate,the gold is only worthy because the Temple is worthy .

Pinterest (sadly I have never been able to understand this)

There’s so much to learn from that verse and I cannot exhaust it. Let’s stay blessed 🙏.

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Shame but for what ?

That’s a picture of me as a little girl, I keep wondering why that toothpaste wrapper was there😂😂😂

When I was growing up,in my nursery school which was in my village, I thought I was better than them so I couldn’t fit in with them. I thought me higher. Issue was probably my fancier clothing moreso those we loved to show off in Church and probably the fact that it was my village,I had sandles and not very many people did so I was too good to hung out with them. I remember one particular memory of girls and boys playing, laughing, running after butterflies, red flowers in the air, and me , probably four yrs old then just thinking,maybe me being better than them is not such a good thing like I thought. For a minute all I wanted to do was go out and play , not claim I was too good for them. I wanted to get rid of my slippers or pretty black shoes,those boots were pretty, but I wanted to just fit in yet in my memory,I don’t remember kids without shoes even,just me, all by myself, thinking am too good for the others.

But then, I left for my primary school. Now while in boarding,you know we are given uniforms which for a second made it look like we are the same. But well,we carry different cases, mattress sizes, snacks,and buy different shoes. And some people can afford new uniforms,others can’t. In my first classes,I would have tins of powdered milk, sugar, bread, daddies etc. That made it easy for me to fit in with some of my friends. But soon,my siblings joined me and I think with the high school fees and other stuff, my parents could nolonger buy me powdered milk and some other stuff. I could only carry gnuts, hard cones and daddies if I got lucky. I think then I thought the kids who carried biscuits were better than me and I was ashamed I couldn’t afford them. I’m actually just trying to trace why I thought the other kids better than me and like always,tried to shut them out. One particular event is vivid,there was a school function and my dad whom I least expected showed up,I was so excited,the other kids said he had carried plenty of snacks for me, listing a few even and my excitement grew, but when I finally went to meet my dad, I discovered he had only brought me a few yellow bananas maybe,the big bags were due to the fact that he was from a Seminar that had taken place for two weeks and though tired,he had fixed a little time to pass by which was so beautiful,but I was ashamed, remembering that makes me so ashamed of myself , ashamed of my shame because honestly all I wanted was for my dad to show up and nothing more so being ashamed because if the other kids asked me I would have to tell them there were no plenty of snacks was pretty much madness. But yes, I thought the other kids were better than me in a way,I gave much value to things that didn’t matter. And being one of the best students in class and always being admired for that didn’t bridge the gap. I would feel like a king when I knew all the answers to the math work and three quarters of the rest of the students didn’t know,then feel like a beggar the minute break arrived and I had no snacks but only the sugarless hot porridge and mad at myself when my friends pinched for me abit of their buns when the only reason I was sitting with them was to listen to home stories about the movies and love series they were watching. I was a hungry girl who most definitely had her arrogant pride always besides her. Them always having snacks from home while I was in boarding and with no snacks always made me feel out of place.I wonder why I didn’t then just hang out with boarding kids like me, three quarters of the class was in boarding and some as broke as I was. I sure always knew how to hung with the crowd I couldn’t fit in with. For example,instead of the best students like me in class,most of the time I spent time with the worst performers, they were amazing friends but I think I had peculiar motives, selfish ones of wanting to always feel better than them.

But the confusion continued,at home I thought I was better than every body else so I never made any real friends in my village, at school I didn’t know what to think, probably that all the others were better than me because they had biscuits and were better than me at sports so I avoided them or never made real friends,I lied about my tribe and village alittle bit. The first lie I told was that we had a television set when we didn’t and lucky for me like one year later , one was brought home, then I couldn’t believe I had no access to the telenovelas my friends watched , while they watched ‘ Shree ‘, I watched maybe ‘Brave Woman’, it always felt like a matter of time before they told me I wasn’t like them and I was a hypocrite. I mean,not everyone was watching Shree, so why did I feel ugly because I wasn’t.

I was ashamed that while most of the children’s parents drove cars, mine had to sometimes just rent a motorcycle to come pick me up or bring me to school. I mean I remember squeezing in between suitcases and mattresses besides my sister on a motorcycle. They aren’t bad memories at all, I enjoyed it , talking to my dad was always fun but as always,I was ashamed. The time my boarding uniform had a hole and I had to walk around while holding it,I thought I was such a wretched kid, and yes,it didn’t have much to do with me or guilt but I was ashamed of myself, my classmates had the good sense of not laughing at me and not noticing me but still, I was ashamed . I had this odd illness that doctors had no name for, but I had to swallow big tablets and receive injections till like primary four, that illness always left me with blisters,wounds on my tiny legs, it must have started in primary one, that led to me feeling more out of place even though the other kids never ever isolated me because of my wounds.

You see I was just for the first time realising I wasn’t the President’s daughter and no matter how crazy that may sound,it may be true, I mean I once thought my dad owned the school when I was five yrs old or maybe six, and I loved my dad so much but I felt sad he wasn’t the President of the World. This may sound like a joke, but once when a teacher hit me on my head, I told her she would be in a whole lot of trouble with my dad, I don’t remember the exact words she used but she must have asked, “Who do you think your dad is! ” Any way the game went on, see poverty wasn’t the issue if you can even call it that, the issue was always something else . Why does one have to feel ashamed because though they can afford shoes,they can’t afford one particular type? Or feel ashamed because they can’t afford to buy a car? WHY ?

Isn’t that what our parents call us to though ? They don’t say it’s enough that you have food on your table or are in peace with your family,they say, wait,you will buy a car some day too, a car that you probably don’t even need ? Our parents educate us so we can join the rat race I assume,so we can race after the most luxurious houses and cars, and other stuff.

I have grown up trapped in a rat race,a money war. You are probably imagining me trapped in a room with a hundred people, twenty of whom are very rich and can afford whatever they want but it wasn’t like that, it was more like me trapped in a room with a hundred people who just like me, can’t afford whatever they want, but we all feel ashamed of not having screen sets at home. It has always been about money, like my worth is defined by what material can I afford to buy, being broke has always felt criminal. You know one time in high school my friend asked me why I was just as broke or penniless as she was when I clearly didn’t spend as much, I asked her how much pocket money she was given at the beginning of the term,then I discovered she was given shs 50,000 and I was given shs15,000 and maybe shs20,000 whenever I got so lucky. Somehow in the end the money was pretty much the same, but even on the visitation day, she got 40,000 and I got 15,000 so that ought to have solved the why I spent less and still ran out of it like she did when she spent alot. That money was pretty much enough for the term,I managed to always buy break so why did I still feel so ashamed of not having money ? The race after more materials or luxuries isn’t quite the same as the race for happiness so how did I get into it if I just wanted to be happy with the other kids? And believe me , it was easier to hung out with someone who maybe got 30,000 but was saving 10,000 for a present for her parents than it was to hung out with some who got I don’t know how much but spent 2,000 per day and wondered why you only spent shs 400. I mean I have felt so guilty for being penniless though I never worked to earn money at all,that’s just crazy.

You are probably Wondering why the self reflection. I am reading a novel entitled Unashamed by Christine Caine and I was just reflecting on my major moments of shame and how I suddenly got locked up in a prison of shame when it wasn’t even about misbehaviour sometimes. The above are a few examples of how the chains of shame were formed in one area of my life. Thanks for reading.

Sweet Revenge.

Courtesy of p-interest

“As I live, saith the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live” (Ezekiel 33:11).

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. Romans 12:17, 19.

We want people to pay for what they have done to us. We might have been told to forgive but we have also learnt that when and if we forgive, we pay the price for the wrong done on the other’s behalf, A price is always paid. When someone hurts you, and instead of making sure that person gets equally hurt to pay for what they have done to you , you choose to forgive, you pay the price that person was meant to pay, you carry the burden yourself , sometimes it does feel like no price is paid but you have chosen to honor the other person instead of yourself. Let’s assume instead you were physically hurt and that person has to pay your hospital bill, forgiving means you will shoulder the price, pay your bill yourself. This is actually just a general Principle or law that God put on place.

But God says don’t take revenge, revenge is His to take. In a way, revenge does belong to God, partly because the grievance done to you was done before God, the Just One. And you ought to give mercy just like God has been merciful to you. But God doesn’t take pleasure in seeing the wicked doomed. I mean you have a sinful nature, even reconciled to God you could take pleasure in seeing another Fall moreso if you think that person deserves it. But God takes no pleasure even in seeing the wicked die , neither should you. Take a step closer to that, to being Holy like your father is Holy by trusting Him to deal with all things, by leaving Vengeance to Him alone. There are consequences to refusing to leave vengeance to God, you will lose that particular Trusting God battle to the devil, but utmost, you will spend time plotting evil on an enemy you should be blessing, that’s literally doing the devil’s job for him,you don’t want that. Leave vengeance to the One who takes No pleasure in seeing the Wicked Die. Trust His Plan and His Way that much. Revenge is the Lord’s.

Pinterest.

Words✨

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I was just listening to the song – Little Toy Guns by Carrie Underwood. I would so appreciate it if the song didn’t have that clear description of the pain words can cause, just listening to that lady and gentlemen who are just acting a scene out yell at each other breaks and hurts on the inside. And I’m not the little girl in the closet.

The Bible says alot about words. We were created in the image of God and when creating earth, all He said is let there Be , and there was, so in a way we know words must carry with them a power of their own. Words are one of the things we use to show people we love them , we talk to them, we sing to them, we compliment them,we praise them so in a way, words must also be a way in which we can show people we hate them,the negativity ain’t always hate,it could just be anger, or we are irritated for a moment, or jealous or hurting. So yes,just like words can uplift,they do tear, stain, hurt ,wound and they can break you on the inside.

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So I guess there are times like in that song that I wish words were like a little toy gun but I know that would mean they also wouldn’t be like rain in the desert. Now words are alot of things,they can be kind, edifying, counseling,consoling, intelligent, foolish, meaningless lies, and they can be nothing,they can be accusing, destroying, tearing apart, putting down, hurting and many other things. But like Ecclesiastes does say,there’s time for everything,there’s time for people to know that if they don’t back up their kind words with actions ,they are not being kind and loving,and their actions should match up. But I want to talk about something else this time. Though I want to note that the theory doesn’t work with bad words, when your daughter fails and you tell her she’s a dull and stupid child and she won’t amount to anything, buying her ice cream after may not cure the pain I guess that’s why we love to say you can’t take back what you said. But it would make a difference if you apologized and honestly told her you didn’t mean it, but if it happened twice,words might not take away the wound or make much of a difference. Words have a place we can’t take away, when we ain’t talking alot of times, we are listening.


But words are also the means by which faith comes,it comes by hearing. Words can be a blessing to all people. Let the words you use be a blessing to people and a means of which you love your neighbor always. And if you haven’t,you should check out that song, Little Toy Guns. Thankyou for reading.

The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent, and their lips promote instruction.
Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet tove the soul and healing to the bones.Proverbs 16:23-24

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18

The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Proverbs 17:27

The words of the mouth are deep waters, but the fountain of wisdom is a rushing stream. Proverbs 18:4

Do not trust a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend. Even with the woman who lies in your embrace guard the words of your lips. Micah 7:5

And because of his words many more became believers. St. John 4:41

The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you —they are full of the Spirit and life. St. John 6:63

Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ. Romans 10:17