My walk with Christ.

Testimony.

This is me in the village , on the 24th of October, 2021.

I can’t afford food still.
And I can’t ride a bicycle,
Neither can I swim. But these are things I have thought of as valuable

I can’t afford an event , can’t pay for a movie night , and I have only been to the city twice , one of those times was due to sleeping off in a taxi and I left right away

Many times in my life, I hardly own a penny, a few cents alone I can hold for a month , with those comes the fear of telling my friends exactly why I can’t come for their birthday party.

I could witness that my life is a testimony because in a few years I might know what having a job looks like after I graduate , but testimonies were not meant for the future but for now and yesterday

I do have a testimony now Now I know what God’s presence looks like I know why humility is an asset , I know how to enjoy a friend’s beautiful singing voice when clearly mine sounds terrible, I know what it feels like when you finally realize you aren’t barbie , you don’t sing ,ride ,own a million , fence , you don’t have it all and you are not all ,I know what it’s like to be gracefully broken

I know what pride in truth looks like , I know the value God attaches to gratefulness, I pride in my home , I pride in that tiny kitchen and all the memories I have had there

I can pride in the man doing everything to pay millions of money for my studies, I know I deserve it not , I pride in that woman who has allowed me to see her grateful and proud , I have remembered that she’s only human , yet she’s giving her all

I have seen my siblings grow into mysterious people, fought over a remote with my little brother, taken something from my sister selfishly and told stories late in the night

I have mingled posho , made it too delicious, burnt it, served it half cooked , made too much of it , fought over it , and I have seen myself fail to be grateful that my meals are always provided

I have watched my dad do everything to ensure that our television, electricity and phones are paid for , and I have watched myself with no gratefulness, only the envy that I stay in the village, not the city , God does reveal that ugliness

I have watched myself insult because I didn’t get what wanted , and I have received it and figured it wasn’t worth it , and yet still watched my heart break that I didn’t get what my friends would envy , and I have heard wisdom whisper , you know it wouldn’t make a difference !

I have watched myself push friends away because of the fear they would reject me , and I have desired things because I thought they could bring my friends closer to me , what folly !

I pride in that dusty road , am glad they will tarmac it , but now wisdom knows that wouldn’t make much of a difference, I pride in all the inconveniences, because they remind me of what’s truly valuable ,

My parents have done their very best, how can I proudly claim I must study hard so I can do better for my children ?

I can answer why I don’t think I can give my children better than my parents have given me , because my parents have given me everything an earthly parent can give , the richest man can’t do better than they have done , that’s why !

Let the Father find me grateful , let wisdom know that I have heeded her cry , and let the heavens know that I have prized Christ above all, this is my prayer.

Friendship.

If she cheating
it’s okay , she is my friend,
I can’t make a big deal out of it.
When she hasn’t prepared for her exam, I will let her copy from me,
friends are there for friends,
rules don’t matter.
If she wants money from her mum, I will back up her lie of incomplete fees. And I can’t tell on her to the teacher,
she is my friend.
God’s rules don’t matter.
Honesty, Truth , Holiness
don’t stand a chance,
Because for a real friend,
it’s okay to cross the line sometimes. Well, is my friendship a god?

We ask not that you gossip
But don’t lie for them
And if you are going to criticize
Maybe you shouldn’t be friends
Compassion can’t be forgotten
Friends are a grace
Not a burden
But if you have two hundred
You might have no friends
And these treasures we store up
For all time

Knowing you is a blessing
And am glad you have known too
What my Principles are
Friendships can’t be true
If truth aint preserved
But to all who care enough
To be friends of any
With no conditions to be
Always fulfilled
And no whims catered to
You are indeed blessings
We look not at what could be
But at what we have
And we sing in gladness
You are my friend.

“love ceases to be a demon only when he ceases to be a god” M. Denis de Rougemont. which of course can be re-stated ,begins to be a demon the moment he begins to be a god.”

Deadly games

I am such a failure
Who would ever love me
Am doing nothing right
And I was taught well
That we reap as we’ve sown
Won’t they see how mean I am
How selfish I am

Now those are lies
But from a sacred place in our lives
In our hearts
Ain’t Satan a good player !

God so loved
And you didn’t have to
Be the best to be so loved
You didn’t have to do anything
He so loved
There have never been conditions

He didn’t compare
He chose
Grace spoke
Mercy has found

But the enemy seeks to destroy
Be alert , keep watch.

IQ

What standard do your friends have to uphold, Do they have to be so intelligent ? Do they have to all be Readers and Great Writers ?

I have judged people using such pathetic standards like books read, and I can say I have reaped of what I have sown, I have gotten back abit of what I put forth.

Why are we so tempted to assume people are not as good because they are different from us and don’t excel at what we do? When did the worth of people depend on the work they do or clothes they wear? The answer sadly is that that’s the way it has always been! If you can’t read or write,they will call you an ignorant fool, and if you haven’t been to College,you might be called an unwise man ?

But God upholds people on a different measure, That’s why reality clearly reveals the folly of the educated and the uneducated. But death is not the only leveller there’s. And we ask not for pity on the Poor, Just for the knowledge that living in a hut doesn’t make a man Less Than ! And that after a day’s labour , a vendor comes home to eager little faces and a warm meal, and so does the Manager, Neither the poor nor the rich should run away from the truth,

My God.

I have been abit discontent of late , wishing my relationship with God was like it used to be when I had just become a Christian, i literally talked to Him more and heard His Voice, I knew He was answering me and I didn’t even second guess or wonder whether it might be coming from me , I knew for sure that the heavens were talking to me. I think it’s also the first time i prayed for someone and the person didn’t get well, now I had prayed for myself several times and gotten well and it was so shattering when she didn’t get well. And since I then didn’t feel like praying for health, I talked to God severally about it and I know He is working on it.

Now that I look back , I tear over the loss of that innocent trust that God was in control of all things , Its such a loss that I struggle with faith that God will heal me or the people I pray for that I don’t even pray for my friends . But I know even now that something good did happen , that I haven’t only lost but I have also gained and I need to appreciate that.

But at least my relationship should go back to the way it was four years ago, where no morning went by without confirmation that my Saviour has loved me and He has blessed me, where i sang quite alot and danced too.

Now my relationship with God rather involves reading the Bible and knowing He is talking to me. But it’s not as special. And one of my favourite shows , “It’s Supernatural ” actually made me feel more like I am not so loved or working hard enough to hear God’s voice.

I havd been so discontent with how God has been speaking to me lately. How did it miss my thoughts, that it’s all about Grace , not how hard you are working, not your sacrifices , not the fact that you read the Bible daily and surrender television time for prayer ! How did I forget to wait on God and to be grateful of what He is blessing me with now ? More importantly, How and when did I stop craving being filled by the Holy Spirit ?

Rich Friend

I wanna be your friend
We could say because you seem rich
But i wouldn’t have my poverty revealed
I wanna be a friend
Because many do see you
I do wish I too could grab
Some of that attention
And have them take me at my word
Why’s building your own reputation
Harder than i thought it would be ?

But you won’t let me
You have forgotten my name three times
My face too and you won’t
Give me the attention I crave
But getting this close to you
Must be so hard , afterall
Thousands adore you
But i rather don’t even think
You are worth it , but i won’t ever let
Let you know that

Being twenty is such a test
You live in an illusion that
Its all about wealth and popularity
And that you better play the game well
Get acquintances in high places
Even when wisdom shouts every second
That its all vanity
You hardly hear

Now that am away from the noise
A quiet voice whispers ,
Your rich friend , your popular friend
Is the neighbour right beside you
They are the one you passionately fight for
Aren’t I the One you want to get closer to
Isn’t it my wealth you wish to share in
And isn’t it my influence you value most
Popularity with me above all
Daughter of the most High
Find Wisdom , know that it’s Only Jesus.

Why Law ?

Because it’s all about God . Law because God is Holy , because God is righteousness , because it’s all About God.

Law is a very wide department, for those of us studying it in school, we have had to learn that the hard way. We have constitutional law , criminal law, contract law , tort. Then even more sub divisions like land , family , human rights , administration of authority or powers like we usually say , children , oil and gas , witch craft , etc

Obviously besides protecting people abit , administering justice , punishing those who wrong others , we also know that law is for dispute resolution , for handling issues like I wasn’t paid enough , they unjustly fired me , that land belongs to me , he threatened me , I was cheated , etc. And obviously the remedies like either someone has to pay with money , a jail term or death or I have to get back what’s mine or be compensated. And then there’s the legal jargon , the laws we make , whether judge made or Parliament made, they are the laws we make , on top of the legal maxims or rather latin maxims etc. Law is alot of things ofcourse, but the world doesn’t revolve around it.

But it all always goes back to who God is. He is Just , He is the law giver, I mean Pastor Rick Warren in the book The Purpose Driven Life did note that life is a test . And He is ultimately the Judge of Humanity.

Law because life is not all about enough money , a boat cruise or a legacy or partying, law because it’s all about God. Law because the Maker holds us up to His standard, Law because he made us for a purpose, and when we destroy what we were created to preserve, somebody is got to pay. Law because life is all about growth in Character and when we are corrupted, we might become unworthy of the King and then we will lose our very selves , we will lose our souls.

In my first year of school, i did learn about the separation of powers and that power is not vested into the Executive branch of government alone but three different branches which therefore control the use of power amongst each other to protect the citizens. In life , its right that we fear vesting so much power in one person.

Power will intoxicate the best hearts,as wine the strongest heads. No man is wise enough, nor good enough to be trusted with unlimited power.
Unknown.

But in real life we do not credit the monarchy that much , i mean Kings ultimately holding power has been seen to produce very disastrous results . Yet , God’s Kingdom is a Monarchy , not a democracy. God is King over all and He has the final say. But God is also Holy , Just , Incorruptible , Merciful , Saviour , Sustainer . He is the very heart of all that lives.

You could bring up the theocracy but that’s God incharge on earth with various representatives but when God is finally the real Ruler of the Universe , it will rather be like a Monarchy actually. But it will also be the Kingdom eternal , the Kingdom of God , the place we long for but can neither imagine nor envision. It will probably have a new name too. All things will finally be all about God , the real Centre of it all. I know our perishing souls do feel alittle jealous and angry that He gets to be the center , how so little wisdom we have that we can forget such truths when our very lives are just temporary assignments and we are here today and gone tomorrow.

Our laws are a shadow of the perfect law of God that we have only glimpsed into alittle. I only mentioned the Monarchy because when God does speak , no one will be able to answer. Let’s play that ” Is God real” and “How can he allow suffering” game while we still have time on earth , except , why waste so much time. If something doesn’t move us closer to the heart of God , why even see it ?

When Job wept ,why the afflictions, he was wise enough to remember Who the Centre of it all is and he said , “May the name of the Lord Be Praised. ” I pray we too learn to praise the Worthy one no matter what comes our way.

The entire cosmos can
be understood only in relation to God.
Charles Colson.

The return

Many are lukewarm
Uncertain of whom to serve
The King or the World
Many do turn back
Others ignore the truth
And others hardly hear
They can’t see you
My prayer Father ,
Is that i be found a disciple
Let me be found worshipping ,
Oh graceful One.

We know the price to pay , but we are not prepared to be rejected ridiculed and look weird , we would rather leave God out and not let him in
A song , Say hello to the bad guy by Abel Chungu ft David Kalinani.