I can’t afford food still.
And I can’t ride a bicycle,
Neither can I swim. But these are things I have thought of as valuable
I can’t afford an event , can’t pay for a movie night , and I have only been to the city twice , one of those times was due to sleeping off in a taxi and I left right away
Many times in my life, I hardly own a penny, a few cents alone I can hold for a month , with those comes the fear of telling my friends exactly why I can’t come for their birthday party.
I could witness that my life is a testimony because in a few years I might know what having a job looks like after I graduate , but testimonies were not meant for the future but for now and yesterday
I do have a testimony now Now I know what God’s presence looks like I know why humility is an asset , I know how to enjoy a friend’s beautiful singing voice when clearly mine sounds terrible, I know what it feels like when you finally realize you aren’t barbie , you don’t sing ,ride ,own a million , fence , you don’t have it all and you are not all ,I know what it’s like to be gracefully broken
I know what pride in truth looks like , I know the value God attaches to gratefulness, I pride in my home , I pride in that tiny kitchen and all the memories I have had there
I can pride in the man doing everything to pay millions of money for my studies, I know I deserve it not , I pride in that woman who has allowed me to see her grateful and proud , I have remembered that she’s only human , yet she’s giving her all
I have seen my siblings grow into mysterious people, fought over a remote with my little brother, taken something from my sister selfishly and told stories late in the night
I have mingled posho , made it too delicious, burnt it, served it half cooked , made too much of it , fought over it , and I have seen myself fail to be grateful that my meals are always provided
I have watched my dad do everything to ensure that our television, electricity and phones are paid for , and I have watched myself with no gratefulness, only the envy that I stay in the village, not the city , God does reveal that ugliness
I have watched myself insult because I didn’t get what wanted , and I have received it and figured it wasn’t worth it , and yet still watched my heart break that I didn’t get what my friends would envy , and I have heard wisdom whisper , you know it wouldn’t make a difference !
I have watched myself push friends away because of the fear they would reject me , and I have desired things because I thought they could bring my friends closer to me , what folly !
I pride in that dusty road , am glad they will tarmac it , but now wisdom knows that wouldn’t make much of a difference, I pride in all the inconveniences, because they remind me of what’s truly valuable ,
My parents have done their very best, how can I proudly claim I must study hard so I can do better for my children ?
I can answer why I don’t think I can give my children better than my parents have given me , because my parents have given me everything an earthly parent can give , the richest man can’t do better than they have done , that’s why !
Let the Father find me grateful , let wisdom know that I have heeded her cry , and let the heavens know that I have prized Christ above all, this is my prayer.